What do I have to give?

 This last Sunday I had the chance to give a lesson in my church’s elders quorum meeting. The lesson was based upon a General Conference talk given by Joy D. Jones in April of 2021, called “Essential Conversations”. As I prepared myself for the lesson I started to feel a little under qualified to teach on the subject. The cliff notes of the talk essentially shares the importance for parents to help teach children while in their youth how to overcome the adversity the world will throw at them throughout their life. It also talks about the importance of children understanding why they are being taught these principles of protection. If the children never recognize the “Why?”, and adversity hits, the battle ahead will be much more difficult to overcome and win. Regardless of what the struggle may be. 

    So as I stood up there teaching this lesson I acknowledged the fact that I don't have children of my own and this was a hard lesson to prepare for me, but I would do my best to add value to the topic and share what I see from the child’s standpoint. Let me just start out by saying that I feel I was taught extremely well on how to handle the adversities and trials this earthly journey has bestowed upon me. My parents did a great job of helping me recognize common dangers and struggles that I might face, and more commonly than not, I ended up facing those trials my parents had raised me to see. Obviously you cant ever prepare for everything that is going to happen, but you can do your best to be prepared for anything. Then in the moment you need to improvise if you’re missing pieces. 

    As our discussion furthered there was great contribution from the members of the class about the things they had faced as parents, and even stories of successes and failures within their homes. I was extremely grateful for the comments because it takes extreme humility to own up to the fact that some things didn’t go as planned. I know I have had my moments of failure in this life too, even with trials I was prepared for. But guess what? That is ok. We are here to learn and grow, so we can be the best version of ourselves, for ourselves and for those surrounding us. 

    Throughout the course of the lesson as the comments kept piling in, I had a moment where a common saying came to my mind. A handful of times in my life I have heard parents, or even children say, “I am going to do this, so my children NEVER have to struggle the way I did.”

    As I thought more and more about that phrase I realized two things. One, that comment comes with the best of intentions from someone who loves and cares for someone’s future. And two, if we NEVER allow our children to struggle how will they ever grow? How will they ever become like us, or even like most parents hope and dream of, better than us? Just sit there and think about that for a second. Reflect on your life and ask yourself if you would be where you are at now without any struggle?

    Ricky Stafford is the person he is today BECAUSE of his struggles. I have learned and grown in ways I could have never dreamed, and yes most of it is in areas that I probably had no intentions to grown initially. But I can assure you that my experiences have provided me many opportunities to serve and do good, and I am able to take advantage of those opportunities because I understand the struggle and can help others maneuver their way through similar trials. My parents have always loved and supported me, but I am not who I am today because of their struggles. I am who I am because they taught me how to manage common trials and struggles from their experience, and then let me work through and grow from my own. 

    What am I saying? Struggle is good and its healthy. It’s an essential part to every humans life here on earth, and without it there never would be any growth. Then once we’ve had our struggles and have grown, we need to turn around and help others find the right tools to work through their struggles. One of my favorite ways to help others through trials is love. That can look different for everyone, but there can never be too much love. 

(This is our buddy Dawson, he just recently finished treatment and we have the pleasure to go visit him at the hospital and award him our first donation from our T-shirt projects! He is currently learning how to overcome trials and soon he’ll be helping others navigate their own trials. Dawson is an amazing example! He has handled cancer like a champion and I have loved getting to know him and his family a little bit)

  

    So as we go throughout this week lets all ask ourselves what do I have to give? How can I help someone else overcome their struggle. If you cant find something then maybe we need to start asking ourselves, what do I have to learn, so I can help someone else in need when the time comes. 

    Now with all that being said I hope it makes sense. I also hope its useful for some of you. I know it helps me find motivation when I write things down. 

    I also recognize and know that sometimes its just too much. Sometimes you don’t have anything extra to give, or not enough in your cup to help fill someone else’s. That is totally ok too. Take care of yourself first. It’s really hard to help others when you can’t help yourself. 

    At the end of the day I hope we can draw one things from this. You are loved. You are unique. Your trials are yours and they are special to you. Do your best to learn from them. So that when the time comes, you can help give to someone else.