Praying for Miracles, Preparing for Rain

     Today is another day spent at the hospital for appointments. We got up early this morning so that Lexi could get a blessing from her dad and I before everyone had to leave for work, school, and the hospital. There’s been some anxiety surrounding the last couple of days and weeks. Lexis doctors have been working like crazy to try and figure out what is going on and what is causing her to have all of the struggles she faces everyday. As we’ve gone to various appointments we’ve come to find that some of the symptoms she’s displaying have helped the doctors narrow things down. Which is good, but leave it up to Lexi to get a virus that is super rare, or to be in the 1% of patients with a specific illness. I don’t even know how to really express the crazy things we’ve been hearing, but no lie the things they are talking about I have never even heard of before haha. But the good news is that we are slowly getting answers. 

    So here I sit again in the Cafeteria at the U of U, waiting for my cute girl to come out from her Bronchoscopy. She already had to do Pulmonary Function tests this morning before her procedure, so she’s likely going to be completely wiped for the rest of the day. It gives me time to think and sometimes that’s good, and other times its confusing. I have always felt so comfortable in hospitals. This isn’t anything new. When you spend years and years going to see doctors and nurses it becomes like a second home. 

    Thinking back on this previous week my eyes have been opened to a lot of different things. As I listened to General Conference Saturday and Sunday for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I heard some things that gave me hope and peace. One topic in particular was when a few speakers address the subject of miracles. Miracles are very real, and they continue to be every single day. Miracles did not cease when Jesus Christ died and was resurrected. As I’ve watched the life Lexi has lived everyday is a miracle that she’s still around. We were invited to continue to pray for miracles, but to understand that sometimes you have to be prepared for the rain. It’s all in Gods hands, and its according to his will. 

    As I thought about that I realized that he’s been granting me miracles everyday with my amazing wife. The blunt reality of our situation is we don’t know how much longer those miracles are going to continue for our family. But I can guarantee you that I will continue to pray to see them in my everyday life and accept his will regardless of the outcome. 

    Ever since St. George where things went south really quickly I have lived out of fear. Fear of not knowing how much longer I would get to spend with my amazing wife here in mortality. As the weeks and months have gone on since then some of that fear has grown and it has made me pretty depressed and angry. But after listening to general conference this week my heart has been calmed. My heart has started to get pieced back together. It’s started to try and heal and not worry about how much longer we have here on earth. Because the amazing thing is that we have FOREVER with each other. She’s gonna get so sick and tired of me haha! But I don’t care and I cannot wait!

    To be honest, my thoughts are kind of all over the place today but this is a great sounding board and a good way for me to express how I’m really feeling. It’s been almost an hour since I started writing this post now and I’m still waiting to hear from the nurses so I can go get Lexi and we can head home. Ive kind of run out of words to say for the day. I’m getting lost in my thoughts again and don't know how to piece everything together. 

So I guess I’ll leave it at this for this week. I love you all! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my posts and supporting our journey! We are not done yet! We are continuing forward each and everyday!

Keep your eyes peeled here in the next couple of days and weeks for our newest project that we are doing :)

So my Invitation for us all this week is this. Let us all pray for the miracles that we want and need in our life, but let us all prepare for the rain and be willing to accept Gods will and his timing.