“It’s Nothing Compared To What You’re Going Through”

    Before I start off, Lexi and I just want to say thank you for the tremendous love and support that was shared after my first post. We are so extremely grateful for each and everyone one of you who took the time to read the post, and we are filled with so much love towards you all. I could not have imagined the many wonderful comments and messages that were received after such a short period of time. So once again, thank you for taking the time to read and listen to my thoughts and feelings. 

    “It’s Nothing Compared To What You’re Going Through”. We hear this all too often. And we know it comes with the best intentions because people don’t want to feel like they are burdening us as they share their own personal trials with us. The truth is, no trial is more valuable than another. We all are different, and we all may learn differently from our individual trials. I personally love when others share their journey with me. Why? Because life is exciting and beautiful! God gives us all different trials for a purpose, and its our job to figure out why. Some of us grow quickly through struggle, while others of us may take a little more time to learn the necessary lessons. The important thing to remember though is that all trials are a part of our own personal journey! And everyone’s journey is unique and special in its own way.  

    What I am trying to say is this; Please don’t compare your trials and struggles with those of someone else. Comparison is the thief of joy. Read that again. Comparison is the thief of joy. Even though you may feel like your trial is small and insignificant compared to what you see other people go through, its yours personally, and its what you need in that moment. Don’t cut yourself short of the experience and growth YOU NEED just because you don’t think its as grandiose and hard as someone else’s trials. The trial that Lexi and I have and endure together is unique to us. We love and embrace it, and we know that this is God’s will for us. That’s not to say that its always fun and entertaining all the time. Some days are hard. Some feel harder than hard. But we know we are in the place where our loving Heavenly Father needs us to be. 

    

Which brings me to my next point. Struggle and trial is good for us. It may not always seem like it, but it always serves a purpose. 

While I was on my mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I learned this in a new way. I was called to serve in the Massachusetts, Boston mission and absolutely loved every moment of it. I had the opportunity to meet and love new people. Some of which I still talk to very frequently and I love them dearly. I learned how to serve out of love and not just out of duty. (There’s a big difference between the two by the way). So in short, I felt like I was doing a pretty good job of being a good person, and a good missionary. Whether my companions thought so or not I don’t know haha, you would have to ask them personally. 

Anyway, At around the7 1/2 month mark of my mission I went in for a routine Doctors appointment. The day was going perfectly normal until the doctor came sprinting back into the room and yelled,”WE NEED TO GET YOU TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM RIGHT NOW!!! YOUR CANCER IS BACK!”...  Surprisingly the news didn’t shock me. When he said those words it just felt right for some reason. Confused as to why, I remember calling my dad and letting him know. I cried as I told him, and the same thought kept crossing my mind. Why did this happen to me now? I was doing something good. I was loving and serving, I still had 16 months to go out of my 24 month mission, I was just feeling like I was learning the ropes, and I was happy. Extremely happy. Why now out of all the other possible times? Yet I welcomed on my new challenge. A familiar opponent who I had already beaten once before. 

The next few weeks I struggled to stay positive and happy. I still tried my best to serve everyday because I was in missionary mode, and had my good and bad days. I was staying in a hospital in New York because the cancer had grown so quickly they didn’t let me travel home. I had some friends come visit for a day, and that was amazing. It cheered me up so much. Then some more friends showed up and visited, and it cheered me up again. It was so nice of them to take the time to love and serve me for that short period of time. By this point though I was still struggling with why I had gotten cancer again, and was starting to get angry. 

Then this moment happened. My amazing and darling wife showed up to New York! Obviously at the time she wasn’t my wife yet, but that in and of itself was a miracle. But I knew right there in that moment, that this was the reason I got cancer again. It was so that I could be with this lovely and amazing girl. The next few months were crazy as I prepared for treatment again, but I knew she was my person. I proposed to her, knowing full well that things were just about to get wayyy uglier. But her being the angel she is still accepted, and made me the happiest man ever. 

Treatment was extremely hard. Harder than the first time around for sure. I felt pain I had never before experienced, and could have never imagined, but it was all worth it. Because I got to be home and with Lexi. We have now been married for over 2 years. If I would have stayed out on my mission the full 24 months I wouldn’t have gotten home for another year and a half, and on top of that, who knows what else life would have brought on for either of us in that time frame. So I am extremely grateful that things ended up the way they did. Now I am not recommending that anyone should go get cancer on purpose to get a blessing out of a trial. That’s just plain not smart... :) Luckily for me though, things lined up pretty great.

We are all individually tried and tested here on earth. That’s a part of Gods great plan, and I truly do believe that all trials and struggles have blessings to them. We just need to try to find them and embrace the process. Now I know that blessings aren’t always super easy to find. I know for me in that moment it was literally right in-front of my face, but it took weeks of me searching and trying to understand the why before I got my blessing. The same goes for all trials though. There is always a silver lining. Sometimes we just have to look a little harder to find it all. 

So my hope and prayer today is that we can all look at the trials that we are currently facing individually, and take a step back to look at the big picture. What can I learn from this? How will this make me a better human? A better Husband or Father? A better Wife or Mother? A better friend to those around me that I love and care for so deeply? What can I take away from this?

Some of you will find it easy to get the answer you are looking for. Others will find it a little harder. That is OK. We are all different, and are enduring different things for a purpose. “It’s nothing compared to what you are going through” for a reason.

Trust God’s process. Don’t just wait for the end destination. Because when we do so, we miss the beauty of our own personal journey.