Finding Joy in the Small Moments

Let me just start out by saying how grateful I have been for this week. It has been filled with some tough days and nights. Yet everyday I get to end it next to this beautiful woman. I have been learning a lot lately, especially from Lexi as I watch her everyday. She is going through so much pain constantly, yet she still finds a way to make small moments. She is the Queen of making something small seem like a massive win and I absolutely love that about her. 

    One of the things that I absolutely adore about Lexi is her insane LOVE for honeydew. It’s one of the few things her body can tolerate at the moment. In addition there hasn’t been much lately that she’s been able to find joy in due to the tremendous amount of pain meds she’s on to keep her comfortable. Yet she always finds the strength to tell me she loves me, she has enough strength to be around her siblings and parents when she’s feeling good enough, and she’s really good at giving cuddles to our cute puppy, Ed. But let me say, Honeydew is something she ALWAYS finds strength for. First thing in the morning, she wants honeydew. Last thing at night, she wants honeydew. I am not kidding when I say that she literally cried out of gratitude a few days ago because of Honeydew. 

Lexi had finished her own honeydew, and we didn’t have any extras at home at the time. Her little sister Leah had her own honeydew that she got as a gift from one of her church leaders, and was clearly enjoying it. When Leah recognized that Lexi had run out and was wanting some more, she offered her the rest of hers. Lexi started to cry and repeatedly said thank you to Leah for her loving gesture. 

    I don't share that to make fun of Lexi. Not at all. I share that because it shows to me that she is able to find joy in something small in the middle of a storm. She has done that our entire marriage, but this moment stood out to me because of what it taught me. I haven’t been doing a super good job of that, but thanks to Lexi these last two days Ive been able to do a little better at it. 

    On Tuesday it was the anniversary of Lexi’s parents, and they decided that they wanted to share their evening with us kids. They invited us all to join them at Texas Roadhouse, and I was hoping we would be able to go, but unsure that we were going to make it because of how she was feeling. When the time to go came, Lexi used every ounce of strength to get herself up and going. She got herself dressed up, and looked absolutely beautiful. On the drive over she kept telling me how excited she was but also how exhausted she was. When we got to Texas Roadhouse and finally got seated she was awake for a few minutes. Long enough to order her drink and her small side of fries, and then she fell asleep. Sitting at the table, we all kind of chuckled to ourselves, but I was just grateful that she was there with us. She woke up and laughed with us occasionally, but you could tell just getting there took all the strength out of her. 

Then yesterday she woke up and said,”We are going on a date today.” She then went on to tell me what time we were leaving, where we were going, and how long we would be out. That’s no small feat considered going that we have to bring along portable oxygen tanks, her pain pump, and a wheelchair most times. Regardless, she was determined to go on a date. It’s only fitting that our date was to Target... haha but I was just happy to be out and about with my lovely girl. When we got to Target she happily hoped into one of those electric shopping carts. She has always wanted to ride one, and now clearly qualifies to do so. She hopped on and started on her merry way, and didn’t make it far before the shenanigans began. I stepped away for a few seconds to take a phone call, just to turn around and see Lexi wedged between a massive pole, and shelf in the store. She had gotten herself so stuck, that the tires were literally doing mini burnouts. And that was just the beginning. 

The rest of the time there was filled with bumps and crashes loud enough for the whole store to hear. But to be honest, I didn’t care, because she had a smile on her face the entire time and she was having fun. She was bringing me Joy be showing me that it doesn’t take much to laugh. We were only there for maybe 30 minutes or so, but it was the most exciting and happy 30 minutes in the last 3 or 4 months of our life.  My FAVORITE part of that trip was the very end though. She asked me to go grab her and her sisters some drinks at the Starbucks in the Target. I got the orders and she said she would meet me at the front after she had checked out. I gave her a kiss, and went to order the drinks for the girls. After standing in line, ordering, and then finally getting ready to take our drinks I realized my wife was no where to be found. I had been standing there for a good 15 minutes, so I figured that she just took a little more time to browse. 
I left really quick to go see if she was ready to check out because the drinks were almost ready. After looking down a few aisles where I last saw her I finally spotted her not 15 feet from where I left her. Sitting there in the cart. ASLEEP!!!! Just parked in the middle of the aisle, sleeping. Oh boy did I laugh, as I was walking up to her she kind of startled awake and said,”I am sooooo tired.” She was so cute when she said it too. It made me smile so big. And with that same smile on my face, I told her ill help her check out real quick and then we can head home. We checked out, grabbed the drinks, and went home. The rest of the day she was pretty out of it, and she ended up just getting some rest which I am so happy for. 

The reason I share these stories is because these are small moments that are usually everyday activities for most. But to me right now, these small moments are everything. Getting to see my wife smile and laugh is something that brings me joy to the point of tears. We dont see that all too often right now, and I have really missed it. I am grateful that Lexi found the strength and energy to share those moments of Joy with me. 
My hope and prayer for us all this week is that we will be able to recognize the small moments in our life that will bring us joy. We all have our own storms that we are facing daily, and so it may be a little harder than usual to find those small moments. But I promise that as we make a conscious effort to try and recognize the small moments in our everyday, our life will be filled with so much more love and joy.